Homophobia

There I said it.

Well, I wrote it; against the Associated Press's recommendations.

The AP Stylebook is a guide for grammar, punctuation and principles for journalists and editors and writers (and grad students). 

Yesterday it was reported that they no longer want writers to use the word "homophobia."

Technically, the word should mean an irrational fear of homosexuals, or "queer fear."

But the word has come to include all of those who are against gay equality, whether fear is involved or not. And homophobia can be internalized, as when a person who is gay is afraid of their own sexuality and works to hide it or even legislate against their own self interests, in the case of lawmakers such as Larry "I am not a homophobic" Craig. Homophobia can also be institutionalized, as when governments or churches pass restrictions against gay people.

The AP now says that -phobia denotes "an irrational, uncontrollable fear, often a form of mental illness." And that to use the term homophobia makes an assumption about the person that may not be true and that we just don't know, like assuming they are mentally ill or irrational.

But homophobia often nearly always  does indicate an irrational fear. Maybe not of an individual gay person, but this.

Most anti-gay (to use AP approved words) attitudes are related to religion. And religious leaders in the anti-gay movement often nearly always say things like allowing gay marriage will lead to the downfall of society and that gay acceptance is angering God and He is retaliating by bringing storms like Sandy and Katrina to our shores.

Now if those are not irrational fears I don't know what is.

And institutional homophobia is based on fear too. Lawmakers fear that voting for acceptance of gays will cause them to lose their position in office. That is irrational. Across the country gay people were elected in record numbers at all levels of government, including our first gay (lesbian) senator, Tammy Baldwin.

Word control

I'm reminded of being told several years ago by a prominent gay leader in Birmingham not to use the word "homosexual" in writing. "Ever!"

This was after I had written about articles (on this blog) about people of his (our) sexual orientation. And when talking about the orientations; heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality, there are no other words to describe them. "Gay" is not an orientation.

And when writing from a historical perspective sometimes it is necessary to use the word as well.

And finally, I am not going to let the religious right scare me into not using the proper term to describe myself, as they had scared that person into denying himself of being a proud homosexual. In fact, I guess that man was a victim of his own internalized homophobia.

Likewise, I am not going to allow the AP to water down homophobia into "anti-gay."

I live with the effects of homophobia every day. I cannot marry my partner. Homophobia. I can be fired from my job (if I had one) for being gay. Homophobia. I can be beat to within an inch of my life because I am gay and it not be called a hate crime in this state. Homophobia. I can be jeered at and taunted for holding my partner's hand walking down the street. Homophobia. I am hesitant to put my arm around my partner's shoulder in church even though I see straight men doing it every Sunday. Homophobia. I can't donate blood even though I am HIV negative and have been in a monogamous relationship for 11 years. Homophobia. I had restricted visitation with my children after my divorce. Homophobia. I was banned from visiting my son for lunch or other activities at Green Valley Elementary School in Hoover. Homophobia.

I could go on.

But with so much homophobia around us, I don't see how we can stop using the word.

(photo from the Wipe Out Homophobia facebook page.)

A reminder regarding Roy Moore

Roy Moore will be the Republican candidate for chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court in 2012. As I write this, he is hovering around 50%, so there may or may not be a runoff, but if there is, he is sure to win it.

Roy Moore is best known for his stand on the Ten Commandments, and his placement of a washing machine sized monument inside the Supreme Court Building when he was formerly Chief Justice. A case was brought against him, he was ruled against and the Alabama Court of the Judiciary removed him from office.

He later failed in an attempt to run for governor of Alabama in 2010, placing fourth in the Republican Primary.

But what people don't realize is how patently hateful and misguided Roy Moore is. In 2002, he issued a ruling in a lesbian custody case (D.H. vs H.H.) in which he said (bold print added by me),

"To disfavor practicing homosexuals in custody matters is not invidious discrimination, nor is it legislating personal morality. On the contrary, disfavoring practicing homosexuals in custody matters promotes the general welfare of the people of our State in accordance with our law, which is the duty of its public servants... The State carries the power of the sword, that is, the power to prohibit conduct with physical penalties, such as confinement and even execution. It must use that power to prevent the subversion of children toward this lifestyle, to not encourage a criminal lifestyle... Homosexual behavior is a ground for divorce, an act of sexual misconduct punishable as a crime in Alabama, a crime against nature, an inherent evil, and an act so heinous that it defies one's ability to describe it. That is enough under the law to allow a court to consider such activity harmful to a child. To declare that homosexuality is harmful is not to make new law but to reaffirm the old; to say that it is not harmful is to experiment with people's lives, particularly the lives of children."

It is frightening that in the 21st century the most powerful judge in the state would state that gay people should be confined and executed to protect children.

In March of 2002 I had letters printed in the Western Star and the Birmingham News. Their content is applicable today, just as it was then.

From the Western Star, March 6, 2002

Dear Editor,
Thank you for your editorial comment on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 regarding Judge Roy Moore's opinion on homosexuality.


It is bad enough that he chose a case that was decided on other issues to spew forth his condemnation of homosexuality, but that he also wrote that the state should use the "power of the sword" and to even use the word "execution" when referring to punishment is frightening.


Since Alabama has no hate crimes law that protects its citizens from crimes based on sexual orientation, this type of speech from our states highest judge might be interpreted by those who would not commit such crimes as an invitation to do so.


This Taliban-like decree should strike fear with all gay and lesbian citizens.


And after Judge Moore has cleared the state of all homosexuals, which minority of citizens unlike himself will he choose to go after next? Muslims? Catholics? Hispanics? Blacks? Women?


Come to think of it, maybe it's not just the homosexuals who should be frightened.


Joe Openshaw
Bessemer

From the Birmingham News March 28, 2002

Dear Editor,

That it took more than a month for Chief Justice Roy Moore to comment on his condemnation of homosexuals tells us that he must not really have been concerned about the firestorm he created with his remarks - or maybe it just took a lot of time and creativity to come up with the rationalization that he gave us Saturday.

His words in his concurring opinion were written, and it is clear what they said and what their intention was. It is sickening that politicians can say anything they want and do their damage then later try to make excuses and reinterpret their statements to do damage control.

Moore hurt and frightened many people in Alabama with his words, but did he apologize? No. he inspired more hatred as fellow anti-gay personality Fred Phelps was drawn to our state in support of Moore.

The only way Moore can right the wrong he has done is to apologize to the people of our state, admit he was wrong and resign his post.

Joe Openshaw
Bessemer

It is shameful that this man is being accepted by enough people in our state to have a chance (and a probability) that he will return to the seat from which he was expelled.

If this man is elected, I predict there will be more hate crimes and possibly more murders against LGBT people in our state. Misguided individuals will hear his words and take them as assurance that they are acting with God's and Moore's approval.

It might take a miracle to prevent this man from becoming our chief justice. 

Making things right - Ash Wednesday

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. On Ash Wednesday we focus on repentance and reconciliation.

Ninety years ago a tragedy took place in Birmingham; the murder of Father James Edwin Coyle by a Methodist preacher.  The Catholic priest had married the preacher's daughter to a Puerto Rican man. The crime was about race, religion, and hatred. The trial that ensued was about ignoring justice, the Ku Klux Klan, and scandal. The Methodist Church was about silence.

 Father James E. Coyle

The United Methodist Church has finally made things right.

At Highlands United Methodist Church last night Bishop William Willimon delivered a message of repentance for a crime committed so long ago.  In prayer, he offered:

"We ask forgiveness for the indifference of our beloved Methodist Church in the unjust death of Father James Coyle, a servant of God among us, whose ministry was tragically ended. Heal us, we pray, of dissension and hatred for brothers and sisters of other faiths. Reconcile us to those whom we have wronged or who have wronged us. Embolden us to witness to the love of Jesus Christ by loving others as he loved us."

The Methodist clergyman, E. R. Stephenson, had ties to the Ku Klux Klan. The KKK at the time was very anti-Catholic, and in Birmingham there existed a secret anti-catholic political society called the True Americans. Father Coyle defended the Catholic Church and promoted racial harmony amid public persecution of the Church.

Father Coyle had married Stephenson's daughter to a Puerto Rican man, Pedro Gussman. Stephenson's acquittal was a nationwide scandal; a black eye for the city of Birmingham, which has seen so many black eyes.

There is no record of the Methodist Church or any other group ever disciplining Stephenson for this crime.

Now that has been corrected. Through this service the grace and forgiveness of God has been unveiled in a most profound way.

The service included the Rev. Alex Steinmiller, C.P., president of Holy Family Cristo Rey Catholic High School, who said (and I'm paraphrasing), "There is no statute of limitations on forgiveness and reconciliation."

James Pinto, the director of The Father James E. Coyle Memorial Project, spoke as well. He had earlier in the day spoken to a 100 year old woman who had been a parishioner of  Father Coyle and who remembered being ministered to by the priest. This provided a connection to the event, and to a time very different from our own in so many ways, but not unlike ours in others.

Mr. Pinto also read some letters from Catholic officials. One of these mentioned that all of the "disenfranchised" now stand in "solidarity with Father Coyle."

During this Lenten season let the Church (Catholic, Methodists and others) consider the disenfranchisment of the LGBT community. We stand in solidarity with Father Coyle, and with a Jesus who brought his love and extends grace to all.

I look forward to the day when the church extends an apology to the LGBT community and seeks reconciliation with those who it has estranged from its ranks. As was said, there is no statute of limitations for reconciliation. If ninety years of silence can be erased, two thousand years of wrongdoing can be also.

In the meantime, read John Shore's Open Letter From Christians to Gay People.

We could still have slavery in Alabama

There is a big fuss taking place over same sex marriage. Yesterday, the Washington State House approved a marriage equality measure that had already been approved by the Senate. The Governor of Washington has said she will sign the measure, making Washington the seventh state (plus DC) to allow marriage equality.

And of course earlier this week Prop 8 was overturned in California.

But in state after state the right for gay men and women to marry the person they love has been put to a vote of the people.

Think Progress has posted some maps that show what the country would like like if various issues of equality had been put to a vote.

In Alabama, slavery would still exist.

Photo Credit: Think Progress

In Alabama, women would still be unable to vote.

Photo Credit: Think Progress

In Alabama, segregation would still be a way of life.

Photo Credit: Think Progress

In Alabama, a black person could not marry a white person.

Photo Credit: Think Progress

We live in a country where our founding document says we have inalienable rights endowed by our Creator. It also says that the Government is here to secure those rights. No where does it say that the citizens should vote on whether a right is recognized or not.

Let me state again that it says "Government," which includes the judicial branch, is here to help secure those rights.  In the Prop 8 case, the judiciary is being derided for "overturning the will of 14 million voters." That is the job of the courts.

Voters should not have the right to deny rights to people. Referenda are coming up this year in Maine and Minnesota and North Carolina that affect people's right to marry. It seems awful presumptuous that someone could stand at the voting booth and mark a box that would deny a person's right. But people have done it all across this country.

Until the Federal Government (any of the three branches) establishes that same sex couples have the same right to relationships as opposite sex couples, using the same words and terminology, we will have an ever changing multicolored map similar to those above that represents a nation where some people are more equal than others.

And until then, second class citizenry is assured.

Catholic Influence

Catholic ideology is really in the news this week, mostly as a result of the HHS policy that requires employers to provide birth control at no cost. As it stands now, Catholic and other churches are exempted, but Catholic owned hospitals and universities are not. The premise is that churches employ members of their own religion, but hospitals do not, and their employees (like everyone else) should have access to contraception.

Also in the news was the overturning of Prop 8 in California by a Federal Appeals Court. This is being framed by conservatives ( including Republican presidential candidate and Catholic Rick Santorum) as a split court decision overturning the will of 14 million voters in California.

What do Catholics think about these issues?

Several reports state that 98% of Catholics use or have used in the past some form of birth control.

Now we learn that most Catholics support the White House position on the issue.

Public Religion Research Institute released a poll yesterday which asked participants to respond to the following: 

All Employers should be Required to Provide their Employees with Health Care Plans that Cover Contraception or Birth Control at No Cost

Fifty eight percent of Catholics agree. That is higher than the percentage of “All Americans" (55%) that agree with the requirement.

At the same time 59% of all Catholics (and 57% of all Americans) agree with the exemption for Catholic churches and other places of worship.

The same polling group also reports that the majority of Catholics (52%) as well as mainline protestants (51%) now favor allowing same sex couples to marry. White evangelical Protestants and African American Protestants still oppose same sex marriage (76% and 60% respectively).

I don’t believe that the Catholic Church is in danger of losing its position as a worldwide power of religion.

But it does look like the Catholic church is losing its influence over Americans.

In the same poll, 69% of Millennials (18-29 year old) agree that religious groups are alienating young people by being too judgmental about gay and lesbian issues.

And Catholic women are ignoring Church teaching in their use of birth control. 

Here's the deal. Many religious leaders, including the Pope and other Catholic Bishops, ignore hard science and social science in their policy development. 

Science and sociology tell us that birth control is necessary and warranted in this country (and world wide) to help prevent unwanted and unplanned pregnancies as well as for population control in other overcrowded countries.

Science also tells us that gay people are here because of  natural reasons and not by choice and that acceptance of LGBT people contributes to better mental and physical health for the group.

Religion needs to catch up with its followers in living in the 21st Century. This can be done while still holding to the core values of their faith traditions. This applies not just to the Catholic Church, but to the United Methodist Church and other denominations as well. 

Religion by its very nature tries to adhere to the status quo. But all one has to do is look back at the early Christians or Christianity in the Middle Ages or Christianity in Early America or Christianity at the turn of the 20th Century to realize that the Church can, and does, and will, change.

Teaching your kids to hate

I took these pictures off of this web site.



This drives me crazy.

Parents took their kids to protest the marriages in New York. It was pretty much a hate rally.

They are teaching their children to discriminate. And to hate.

It is no coincidence that most of the pictures on the web site are kids of color. The point is that their parents have faced discrimination, and now have some degree of protection from discrimination (although institutional discrimination still is prevalent), yet they think it is OK to teach bigotry to their kids?




Do you really want to teach your child that it is worse for me to love somebody and to commit my life to being with that person than it was for that man to murder the young Jewish boy and cut him up?

Do you realize that this is what makes people like Steve Mullins and Charles Butler think its OK to murder someone like Billy Jack Gaither in 1999 in Sylacauga, AL; or Chris Gaines and Robert Porter and Nichole Kelsay to murder Scotty Joe Weaver in 2004 in Baldwin county, AL.

Father, what if this child is gay?




These women took this child by the hand and are see nothing wrong with showing him how to discriminate.




Like I said, it just bothers the stew out of me to see people teaching their children to hate. This is 2011. We should love one another.

I've been busy

You may think I've fallen off a cliff or something since I have not been posting on Bessemer Opinions lately. But my writing has taken me to different sites. If you have not been following, Here are some links.

Equality Alabama staged a "takeover" of Full Moon Bar-B-Que in Hoover earlier this month. I covered this for Examiner.

The Western Star printed an article about Bessemer pride that I wrote.

Then they printed a letter from Snuffy Garrett in response.

I spent some time writing responses to Garrett's ill-informed letter.

The Western Star printed my 1700 word response (here, on Scribd) to his challenge that I find support for my "lifestyle" in the Bible.

And I wrote another article for Examiner regarding the Human Rights Campaign bus tour that is coming to Alabama in October.

And all the while my thoughts on the debt ceiling crisis and the unwillingness of the Republicans to compromise are swirling around in my head. Coming soon.

Tears Dry On Their Own, by Amy Winehouse.

Pride - here and there

Two historic Pride events took place this weekend.

One was in Bessemer, Alabama, where the first Gay Pride in the city's history was celebrated. Word is, this will be covered in this week's Western Star, so I won't upstage them. But if they print a story, I will copy it here. If they don't, I will report.

The other was in New York. This is my favorite picture of that event.

Photo credit Vivieene Gucwa flckr

The Pride in New York was historic in that they were celebrating marriage equality!

The following are reactions from crazy folk about the victory (all are from JoeMyGod over the last few days)

Pat Robertson says that God will destroy America because of this.

The Catholic League's Bill Donahue says it will lead to multiple husbands.

But unless there is a constitutional amendment, we will continue to have an uneven playing field, one that is ripe for further exploitation. Once marriage is separated from procreation, and Tom and Dick are allowed to marry, there is no principled reason why Tom, Dick and Harry can't do so. After all, wouldn't it be discrimination to say no to Harry?

Bryan Fischer, American Family Radio host, said we have fangs.

'The gay-rights groups have shown their fangs. They want to silence, yes, destroy those who don't agree with their agenda.' Homosexuals are rapidly cementing their position as the number one perpetrators of hate crimes in American today."

Linda Harvey, World New Daily writer, says

"This 'freedom' will include much more than a perpetual pansexual pagan party. It will, and already does, include libel, slander, intimidation, corruption of youth, revolt in congregations, suppression of parental rights, revision of language, disease, loss of employment and loss of life. Oh, and did I mention public sex, the porn explosion and public nudity? Welcome to entitlement sex."

Jason Adkins, Minnesota Marriage Coalition spokesperson, lied,

Marriage between one man and one woman has served mankind for all of recorded history...

Peter LaBarbera tweeted

Every homosexual activist victory (eg, same-sex *marriage* in NY) is a rebuke to our biblical heritage. Why should 'God Bless America'?

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council said

The so-called religious protections that were tacked on to the bill will ultimately do nothing to protect the religious rights of New York citizens.

On twitter, @almightygod tweeted

Gays will be getting married in NY, so I guess I'll need to send them some tornadoes. Hope I don't miss and hit Kansas

Maggie Gallagher, in the National Review said,

"The National Organization for Marriage has committed $2 million to persuading Republicans: Voting for gay marriage has consequences. Sad that the N.Y. GOP has caved. Consequences to be continued."

Matt Barber of Liberty Council tweeted

Gay "marriage" silliness: sad for NY. Sad for America. Yet not unexpected. We mock God & He obliges. Buckle in. Rough ride ahead.

But, here are the facts.

New York marriage more than doubles the number of Americans who live in states where marriage equality is. This chart comes from Box Turtle Bulletin.



In 50 years we have come from being a nation where homosexuality was criminal in every state, to where our relationships are recognized as equal in 6 states. But still only 11% of the country (by population) is treated with equality. We still have a ways to go. Maybe we can move faster now. More than half of Americans support marriage equality, and there is no good reason to believe otherwise. None.

Bessemer Pride

On Saturday we will celebrate LGBT Pride in Bessemer for the first time!




The Western Star printed this announcement this week.

Bessemer Pride

Bessemer Pride will take place on Saturday, June 25, from 11:30 am to 2 pm, at Jonesboro Community Garden, corner of Owen Avenue and Wellington. Bessemer Pride is about highlighting the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in Bessemer and surrounding communities and uniting with the straight community to move Bessemer forward. This will be a pot-luck,community get together, so bring your favorite food and join us.

Among the displays at Bessemer Pride will be a suggestion box. Should we keep the June date? Or is fall a better time (October is Gay History month)? Have it on a Sunday afternoon rather than Saturday? Have live entertainment? Forget the food, or raise money and make it a cookout? Other suggestions?

Come and join us, be proud (gay or straight) if you are from Bessemer, or learn a little about our city if you are from elsewhere.

Jonesboro Community Garden is at the corner of Owen Avenue and Wellington in Bessemer, AL.

Won't you be my gaybor (part 2)?

Earlier I posted "Won't you be my gaybor?" where I highlighted historic properties for sale in Bessemer. I can report that most of those homes were sold.

Of course there are always homes for sale, and there are always homes that need restored, and there is always a need for progressives and gays to move to Bessemer to make our city a better place.

Here are four homes of different styles and with different needs that are for sale. But I'm not going to reveal the location of these homes. They will be, along with several others, featured in a display at Bessemer Pride on Saturday. You can learn more about the homes then.









Bessemer Pride will take place Saturday, June 25, from 11:30 until 2:00, at Jonesboro Community Garden (corner of Owen Avenue and Wellington). It's pot luck, bring something to eat (and drink) and enough to share. Even if you don't live in Bessemer, this will be a chance to meet nice people, learn about opportunities and homes for sale, be gay, have fun.



According to the census, there are 53 same sex couples in Bessemer. This gives no indication of the number of single gays, but it must be substantial. Ya'll come on out!

Obama and the Gays

So as the campaign season kicks off, and as some progressives are kicking the pres, not only do we need to think about what the alternative would have been had Obama not been elected, but also what the alternative is if he is not re-elected, and if we don't maintain at least one house of congress in 2012.

So, some of us were a little disenchanted when all things gay didn't happen soon after Obama's election in 2008. But when you look at the accomplishments in real time, they are monumental.

Not included in this list is the fact that I and several other LGBT leaders from Alabama will be involved in training at the White House in August, something that would never have happened under the past or future Republican president.

Hate Crimes

Signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr., Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law. This helps protect on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

President Obama and other administration officials recorded "It Gets Better" videos to address the issue of bullying and suicide.

President and Mrs. Obama hosted a White House Conference on Bullying Prevention.

The Dept. of Education issued guidance in combating bullying.

LGBT Families

President Obama directed HHS to require all hospitals receiving Medicare or Medicaid funds to allow visitation rights for LGBT patients

HHS creates the National Resource Center for LGBT Elders.

Department of Labor clarifies that Family Medical Leave Act ensures LGBT parents can care for children in event of an illness.

State Dept clarifies that transgender applicants can obtain, under certain conditions, passports that accurately reflect their gender.

Justice Dept clarifies that persons with HIV or AIDS are covered by the Americans with Disability Act and can be included in occupational training and state licensing.

Justice Department issues a memo stating that federal prosecutors should enforce criminal provisions in the Violence Against Women Act in cases involving gay and lesbian relationships.

HHS issues a memo to ensure that LGBT and questioning youth in foster care are protected and supported.

US Interagency Council on Homelessness releases strategic plan to prevent and end homelessness, including LGBT homeless youth.

Obama administration works to ensure that the Census provides a fair and accurate count of all Americans, including LGBT couples.

Housing

HUD announces first ever study of discrimination in housing against LGBT persons.

HUD proposes new regulations to ensure that housing programs are open to all persons regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

HUD requires grant applicants to comply with state and local anti-discrimination laws.

LGBT Health

Obama releases first ever national HIV/AIDS Strategy.

Obama urges Americans to get tested for HIV.

Obama signed the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act.

HHS issues recommendations to improve the health and well-being of LGBT communities.

2012 Budget maintains and increases domestic HIV funding.

Job Creation

Dept of Commerce sings Memo of Understanding with the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce to support federal contracting and exporting.

Hiring and Benefits

Office of Personnel Management announced that gender identity is a prohibited basis of discrimination in federal employment.

President Obama expands federal benefits for same-sex partners of federal employees.

Office of Personnel Management allows same-sex domestic partners to apply for long-term care insurance.

Obama sends executive branch official to testify in support of ENDA (Employment Non-Discrimination Act) before Congress.

Obama continues to appoint LGBT Americans to positions at every level throughout his Administration.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

President Obama signed the DADT Repeal Act of 2010!!!!!!!!!!

Global Leadership

US lifts entry ban on HIV individuals.

Obama and his adminstration play active role in Uganda, Honduras, Malawi and other countries re LGBT issues.

US leads effort at UN resulting in 85 countries supporting resolution to end violence realted to sexual orientation and gender identity.

White House announced major three year investment in combatting global AIDS, TB and malaria

LGBT History

Obama honors 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.

Obama awards the Medal of Freedom to Harvey Milk and Billie Jean King.

LGBT Progress

Obama has called for the repeal of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act)

Obama supports ENDA and the Domestic Partners Benefits and Obligations Act

Obama supports learning environments free of bullying and harassment; adoption rights for all couples and individuals, in immigration reform that ensures Americans with partners from other countries should not be faced with a painful choice between staying with their partner or staying in their country.

Hey, we are not invisible

Pride

Photo credit - Joe Openshaw


Central Alabama Pride just produced one of the most memorable Pride celebrations the city of Birmingham has ever seen. Did you see any coverage on the news or in the paper? No. Were they notified of the events? Yes. Did they cover the events in the past? Yes. Are they negligent in refusing to cover the events this year? Yes.

A comment on facebook: "Imagine the difference in the outcome of the civil rights era if MLK and Rosa Parks were swept under the rug and ignored...this is our time!"

Larry Kramer said it last night in his acceptance speech at the Tony Awards: "Dearest loving mother, Daryl Roth and generous Paul Boskind, thank you, and everyone, for this magnificent production. To gay people everywhere, whom I love so, The Normal Heart is our history. I could not have written it had not so many of us so needlessly died. Learn from it and carry on the fight. Let them know that we are a very special people, an exceptional people, and that our day will come."

Here is a column I wrote for Noise Magazine about Pride. Interspersed are pictures of Equality Alabama in the parade this year.

Pride artwork by Benjamin Faucher

June is the month that LGBT Pride is celebrated in Birmingham and many other communities across the country. This commemorates the Stonewall riots in Greenwich Village that occurred on June 28, 1969 that many designate as the start of the modern gay rights movement.

Photo credit - Joe Openshaw

Pride means different things to different people. For some in the LGBT community the Pride celebration is a way to let others know that “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.” For others, it is a chance to blossom into a role that they don’t play every day. And for still others, it’s a chance to party. But for some, Pride celebrations are thought of as silly, unnecessary or even hurtful to our cause.

Photo credit - Chris Wilson

Definitions of pride include references to dignity and self esteem and self respect. None of these words; pride, dignity, self esteem, or self respect, mean the same thing to everyone.


We all come from a different place, physically and emotionally, in our journey. But most will agree that somewhere along the way, our pride suffered and our dignity, self respect and self esteem were low.

Photo Credit - Chris Wilson

Photo Credit- Joe Openshaw

Almost all injustices toward the LGBT community have a basis in religion. Whether one is a member of a particular church or denomination, we all still feel the effects of prejudices and misunderstandings that come from the pulpit. Even though many denominations and individual places of worship are becoming more friendly or affirming toward the gay community, the attitudes of the conservative religious sects continue to affect elections and laws and policies that affect us negatively.

Photo Credit - Joe Openshaw

Equality Alabama has compiled a list of “welcoming” places of worship in our state. The list is incomplete and is evolving. If you know of a place of worship that should be included but is not on the list, please let us know. What we have tried to do is create a database of places where an unsure person could go and seek comfort and be allowed to worship without fear that they would walk away feeling condemned. Because that is exactly what has happened to many of the LGBT people in our state.

Rejection by the church has led to feelings of not belonging, being un-loved and un-wanted, and the inability to accept one’s self. Dignity is lost. Self respect and self esteem are lost. Depression and its sometimes awful consequences are the result.

LGBT Pride is a chance to counter those feelings, whether one is experiencing them now, or has experienced them in the past. Show the world, and those who would seek to oppress you, that you are proud to be gay, proud to be lesbian, proud to be bisexual, proud to be transgender, or proud to be a straight ally.

It is not a coincidence that Equality Alabama has compiled their list at this particular time. The list should be posted on Equality Alabama's site by the time Pride takes place in Birmingham. It is Equality Alabama’s offering in the spirit of Pride, that the LGBT community is not going to let religion inspired prejudice take away the opportunity for us to worship in peace, should we choose to do so.

Celebrate Pride in June, but have pride all year long. Because you are who you are; you were created, or made this way; and it does get better. We have made tremendous strides toward equality in this country over the last few years; in part because of the visibility and message that we send by showing we are proud of ourselves. And by continuing to show our Pride, we will push the arc of justice a little further along.

Central Alabama Pride is celebrated in Birmingham June 3-June 12, and Bessemer Pride is on June 25.

Photo Credit Joe Openshaw

Photo Credit - Joe Openshaw

Creation Museum antics

Not long ago I posted a Facebook status about "science" textbook I had come across that mentioned the earth being about 4000 years old.

There is nothing remotely related to science in that belief.

But I was going to let it pass, with hopes that the Mennonite children that might read it would become better educated later in life. I realize that I have no control and no voice in what a private religious organizations teaches its kids.

In and around that time I was involved in a discussion about the replica of Noah's ark being built. This is being done at the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky. This is to be a full scale replica, big enough to carry specimens of every species, including extinct dinosaurs, I presume, since they believe dinosaurs roamed along with Fred Flintstone and every Australopithecus species and other early human examples.


Photo from exhibit in Creation Museum

I'm not really writing about how ludicrous it is to think that one man could (or would) capture every microscopic species on the earth, and every species of disease carrying mosquito and every species of bedbug and keep those living, even though they might require different environments and micro-climates to sustain them. Remember, some parasites require multiple hosts to complete their life cycle, and for Noah to understand this and be able work out the logistics is just not believable.

No, I am writing about an event the Creation Museum sponsored, a "Date Night" where loving couples were supposed to have a $71 a person dinner and a lecture about what makes a relationship work.

But a gay couple was denied admittance.

They explained to us that the Creation Museum Date Night was a "Christian environment", therefore the presence of two men eating dinner together would not be allowed. The very sight of this would "add an un-Christian element to the event" and "disrupt the evening for everyone"

.

I assume the organizers of the event have never seen the famous picture of Jesus and his 12 disciples eating together, but I digress.

The gay couple's tickets were actually purchased by a straight couple. Here is the straight guy's account of the evening.

Let me just comment that my relationship with my partner is as strong as any straight couple's relationship that I know, and we can do without the ramblings of any prejudiced instructor on how to make it better.

But still, the gay couple should have been allowed to attend with their straight friends, it seems.

Notice in this photo of an exhibit from the museum that Adam was created as a totally (hot) white guy from that time long ago, the 1960's.

Maybe he was just ahead of his time...a foretelling of a future Republican congressman wanting to post his profile on Craig's list.

OK, I'm getting off subject and the Grammy's just came on so I'll stop there.

Put it to rest

Let's put it to rest.

It's not a choice.

Like Peter said,

While I don’t advertise being gay, I never steer away from an opportunity to educate the straight world that gay is who we are and it’s OK. That it’s the way God created us, and that they can either get over it - or spend their lives fuming about it. That is the only choice in the matter!

Many of you have seen my entry on Born This Way, a web site where ordinary people submit pictures depicting early signs that they were gay.

The site is full of mostly happy stories by mostly adults remembering mostly joyful times of their mostly innocent childhoods.

But then there are some that just make you think. The pictures don't always tell the whole story.

Here's John, age 5.

Somewhat typical of many of the photos, John's pose is certainly suggestive of a fabulousness that many gay kids exhibit at an early age.

But John goes on to explain that this photo was taken "before the taunting, before the indoctrination, before the forced sports, before the shame, before the Southern and the gothic."

And, John says the boy in the photo is clearly being himself, but that he "doesn't remember him," but takes "great joy in knowing that somewhere inside me is the boy in this photo."

Now, would a 5 year old boy "choose" to steer himself into situations that elicit taunting and shame?

Or take Matt, another southern boy, at age 6.


Matt joined the Cub Scouts that year. If I remember Cub Scouts correctly, it was about teaching boys the traits that make them into honorable men. Traits like honesty, and being truthful.

Matt was just being honest when he shared his dream of what he would be when he grew up at a scout meeting where they were all sitting around telling what they wanted to be (firemen, astronauts, bee farmers, or the Incredible Hulk).

He was just being truthful and honest when his turn came around.

When it came to me I honestly told the room: 'My husband is going to be a policeman, and I'll be living in a 3-bedroom house, with flowers and a beagle - and I'll make the best ice cream in the world.'

My suspicion about not fitting in was solidified at that moment.

Everyone got upset, and the Scout Master started yelling at me - 'You can't do that! You're an abomination, a heathen!' - and my personal favorite - 'Devil Child!' (you know the drill).

The Scout Master then made me sit outside on the front steps of the church by myself, while they finished their meeting. As night crept in, I remember feeling so lonely and afraid. I must have been out there for a couple hours by the time the meeting ended.

When all the laughing kids came spilling out of the church and into their parents' cars, I asked the Scout Master about calling my mom to let her know the meeting had ended. And he loudly declared 'Oh, I KNOW whoever put you up to this is coming to get you!' Then he left me alone, at night, sitting in front of this locked church, in the dark. I had to get the janitor that came later, to call my mom.

So I guess all that talk of being honest and telling the truth...well maybe they were just trying to prepare him for Don't Ask Don't Tell. I mean, under that policy service members were expected to lie about who they are. Cub Scouts (and Boy Scouts) are expected to do the same, I guess.

And I don't think Matt would "choose" to continue on with being gay after this ridicule (and after what happened when his mom picked him up...click on his link and read).

Here is my little story on Born this Way. Nothing quite that dramatic.

Click on Born this Way and read a few of the stories. And then try to justify saying that being gay, or lesbian, or bisexual or transgender is a choice. You can't do it. Because it is not.

DADT fright

President Obama's stock has gone up, as his "promise" to get Don't Ask, Don't Tell repealed on his watch is taking place.

Whenever progress by an oppressed group takes place, those who oppose such actions ramp up their rhetoric, and that is certainly happening now.

American Family Association radio host Bryan Fisher said that other countries that allowed gays to serve openly in their armies only did so because they knew they could depend on the might and the strength and the power of our military. He said they could depend on us to intervene and "wherever necessary to pull their fannies out of the fire and squash the forces of tyranny wherever they raised their ugly heads around the world."

Now, he says, "Those days are now gone. We will no longer be able to bail out these other emasculated armies because ours will now be feminized and neutered beyond repair, and there is no one left to bail us out. We have been permanently weakened as a military and as a nation by these misguided and treasonous Republican senators, and the world is now a more dangerous place for us all."

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council was just as bad. "Today is a tragic day for our armed forces. The American military exists for only one purpose - to fight and win wars. Yet it has now been hijacked and turned into a tool for imposing on the country a radical social agenda. This may advance the cause of reshaping social attitudes regarding human sexuality, but it will only do harm to the military's ability to fulfill its mission"

The Alliance Defense Fund has released a statement, " "The Senate's cave-in to pressure from activists to impose homosexual behavior on our military will place our troops' religious liberties in unprecedented jeopardy. Indeed, the first official casualty of this hurried vote may well be the religious freedom of chaplains and Service members."

This is all just hype with a purpose of raising money from those easily frightened.

"Impose homosexual behavior on our military?" Who in their right mind thinks this repeal imposes any sexual behavior on anyone? What it imposes is a sense of fairness, and justice. And it takes away the requirement that someone who swears to integrity must lie in order to serve.

My idea of a (male) Marine is a tough, well disciplined guy, for whom thoughts of sex are far from the front of their mind. I have a friend, gay, who is a former Marine, who is 6 foot 5 inches tall and weighs 230 pounds. He is solid muscle, and tough as a rock. He served in Iraq. He was a leader among the men he served with (and they knew he was gay). I would put my money on this man against any straight Marine you can find.

I have another friend, straight, who is a former marine. Oddly enough, he and my other friend share the same first name. He is tough also, not quite as big, but just as tough and disciplined. He also served in Iraq. He told me it makes not an ounce of difference who is next to him in combat, as long as he could shoot straight. He is sure he served with people who are gay, and it doesn't bother him. Every Marine, by definition, should feel this way. If not, maybe he doesn't have any business being a Marine.

The crybabies are concerned about troops in combat, but here is the deal. Since there are already gay men in the military, how does this policy change make any difference? A gay Marine is not going to suddenly declare, "I'm gay," in the foxhole and make advances on his fellow fighters.

And they worry about the showers. Well listen, and listen closely. Straight men have showered with gay men at the gym, in the NFL locker room, at work places, in high school, in coal mines, in the MLB locker room, in the barracks, at the YMCA, in the doctor's lounge, at the pool, at the auto plant, in middle school, in the NBA locker room, and at the Country Club, and while the gay men might take a look at the straight men, in all honesty, the straight men are looking too. And I know this because straight men compare themselves to others. That's just a fact. So if a straight man, military or not, is being looked at by an unknown gay guy, what difference does it make if it is a known gay guy? Grow up.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, my idea of a military man is someone who is disciplined enough, and mature enough, and secure enough, to not be bothered by this. And those who are, maybe they should step back and examine their own sexuality and insecurities, and they might be surprised with what they discover.

And for someone like me, a citizen who depends on the military for my freedom, I am just thankful that we have men, and women, who are willing to step up to the task of serving this way, and I don't mind of they are straight. Or gay.

Response to Western Star bigotry

Bessemer's Western Star is published by Trib Publications, Inc., and their president, Bob Tribble, exhibited his lack of education and his bigotry in a recent editorial. You can read it here.

Three letters appeared in today's Western Star in response. One is from me, the others are from Elisa Macon and Trey Noland. This will make for a long blog post, but I am posting all three letters here. Click "Read more" to view the letters.

Suicide prevention events

On Sunday the Alabama chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention will hold their fifth annual "Out of the Darkness Community Walk" at Heardmont Park in Shelby County.

Last year the walk raised $90,000 and was the fifth best in the nation, with 690 participants.

This year they hope to raise $100,000 with 800 - 1,000 participants.

Registration begins at 1:30 and the walk begins at 3:00.

With the recent interest in teen suicide including LGBT suicides Equality Alabama is supporting the event and asking their members to wear the purple Spirit Day t-shirt or their Equality Alabama t-shirt. Equality Alabama believes this is an opportunity to educate others about the specifics of anti-gay bullying and its relation to teen suicide.

More information about Equality Alabama's support can be found on their event page.

More information about the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, this particular event and their LGBT initiative can be found at AFSP.

Here you can watch a panel discussion on bullying and suicide with emphasis on LGBT "bullycides".

Of course suicide is not limited to teens or to LGBT persons. Suicides occur among people with untreated or under treated clinical depression. Suicide among the elderly is another problem which occurs more often than you may think.

This event is important to everyone, because a suicide can occur in any family without advance notice. This event raises money for research, prevention and educational programs.

Please join this effort, either with Equality Alabama or not, and help with the efforts to prevent the taking of lives.

Tre'Juan Figures

Tre'Juan Figures was a 12 year old boy from Anniston, AL who took his own life in October 2009 after being bullied because he would not join a gang.

There will be a vigil on November 20 at 2:00 pm at Zinn Park in Anniston to remember Trey and to raise awareness for anti-bullying.

Here is an article about Tre'Juan's death.

Here is a more recent article from the Anniston Star about bullying and anti-bullying efforts and Jason Childs, whose organization Center for Progress in Alabama is sponsoring the vigil.

Equality Alabama will also be present at this event. Please join us at this event also.

Two polls (that don't have anything to do with politics)

The Election

If you are like many Americans and many in Alabama and even in Bessemer, in spite of all the hype and crazy people running for office you don't know much about this (here) election they are putting on today.

All you know is what you see on the political ads that run during the news, during the World Series (congrats to San Francisco!!! and (hot) bearded Brian Wilson), and during every television show it seems.



So you may or may not vote. I mean, OFA and other groups are doing all they can to Get Out The Vote. Democrats are trying to remind voters who first voted in 2008 that it is still important to vote. Republicans are screaming, "Fire!," in an effort to motivate their voters.

Some of you might even respond to this: here is your voter guide... or here.

And still, only 55% of voters are expected to turn out in Alabama, according to Beth Chapman, Alabama's Secretary of State.

Almost half of the people in this state don't care. So if somebody wins, say, the governorship, with just a little over half the vote, what it really means is that only a quarter of the people (or a little more) in the state want that person to be governor.

One person who doesn't want Robert Bentley to be governor is Jimmy Blake, who says he will contest the election if Bentley wins the election today, based on Bentley's reporting of campaign fund raising.

Polls

We've seen polls and polls and polls and polls and surveys. We even had a poller call at 7:10 yesterday evening. What good is that going to do?

Poll 1

Here are some of the results of the reader's survey I posted on Bessemer Opinions a few weeks ago.

23% of the respondents are straight and 19% are LGBT. That means that 52% of you are either unsure of your sexuality or so deep in the closet and so paranoid about being discovered that you were afraid to answer even on an anonymous poll.

61% of you are white, and only 6% are black. That leaves a lot of people of other colors. Or not.

See that's the problems with surveys where you can choose multiple answers. Some people didn't know that, so they didn't answer the race or sexual orientation questions. Or they are paranoid and they probably didn't complete their census form either.

The highest number of you, 31%, like the mix of subjects and the unexpected that you find on Bessemer Opinions. 16% want more Bessemer news and less gay news, 7% wanted more gay news and less Bessemer. You are still going to get the mix.

What this tells me is that Bessemer Opinions is popular among a wide variety of people with a variety of interests, and that I should keep reporting as I do on a number of subjects.

Poll 2

Yesterday I wrote this column for Daily Kos that compares the two Georgia megachurch pastors and the churches that have been in the news recently regarding gay issues. At the end of that column there was a poll asking "Which church offers the truer message of Christianity regarding gay issues?" The choices are New Birth Missionary Baptist Church led by Pastor Eddie Long or Church in the Now led by Pastor Jim Swilley, or neither.

Of the 42 people who have responded, 78% think Church in the Now, with the pastor who has been inclusive and accepting and recently came out as gay, is offering the truer message, and only 2% believe New Birth led by the pastor who was accused of having sexual relations with some of his male followers while preaching an anti-gay message is offering the truer Christian message. 19% say neither, and I assume those are people without faith, or people who have been driven away from the church.

Swilley and his supporters are hoping they can change the world. I think all, or most, Christian churches believe that, but let's hope he is right.

The Challenger

Some of you know that there is now a blog that has been created to stand up against my militancy.

From their "Welcome" page:

This blog exists to spend a little time answering the radical homosexual propaganda of Joe Openshaw, a gay organizer in Bessemer, Alabama. It is also a place for conservative Christians to have their say regarding the militant homosexual agenda in Bessemer.

Radical? One of my straight friends responded to that saying she thinks I am pretty moderate.

Militant? Militant? I can't even respond to that. Militant?

Anyway, for those of you who are keeping score.

1. There was a newspaper editor in town that threatened to file a lawsuit against me to force me to quit revealing the truth. He's gone. Fired.

2. There was another blogger, the "Bessemer conservative" I called him in a newspaper column. He's pretty much given up, but was real good at copying and pasting from those anti-Obama emails that used to circulate with so much mis-information.

3. And then there was Snuffy, who in a letter to the newspaper called me a communist and worse, and compared my loving relationship with my partner to screwing a horse. Anyone heard from him lately?

So I don't feel threatened by this newcomer, who so far has chosen not to reveal his whole identity. I know this is just a tease, but I am not going to post a link to his blog, yet, because he has already posted some statements which could be damaging to young gay kids. Here I am trying to prevent kids from killing themselves and this "conservative Christian" is destroying their self esteem and possibly contributing to their harmful actions.

If you want a link to the page, email me.

Still waiting on a phone call

I hope the Bessemer Board of Education realizes I'm serious.

I went by there yesterday, wearing my purple "Port St. Joe" t-shirt, to follow up on the letter I sent last week, and to get a copy of the Bessemer bullying policy.

I was unable to meet with the person I had sent the letter to, and was told he would give me a call, but I haven't heard anything. I'll go back today, and every day, until I get to speak to someone, and until we see a change in the policy.

Update: I went back this morning and was still unable to anyone. I was, however, told that I needed to speak with Mr. Foster, the superintendent. He is who I mailed the letter to, so he knows why I am trying to contact him. In fact, in the letter, I told him I would.

Why am I pursuing this? Because the Bessemer policy has not been updated since 2008. The Student Harassment Prevention Act was passed in 2009, and required the policy to be updated by July 2010.

The Board knows this. I mean, even if they didn't get word from the State Department of Education, surely they had seen my column in the Western Tribune (you know, that weekly newspaper that used to be), where I mentioned it in a story about gay kids getting a break.

The model policy developed by the state lists the following personal characteristics regarding harassment: race, sex, religion, national origin and disability.

Bessemer does not even do this. There is no list.

The law states "Based upon experience, a local board of education may add, but not remove, characteristics from the list. The additional characteristics or perceived characteristics that cause harassment shall be identified by the local board on a case-by-case basis and added to the local board policy. The list shall be included in the code of conduct policy of each local board."

And from Fort Worth

You've seen the video of Fort Worth council person Joel Burns delivering his emotional message at the city council meeting.

Joel and his husband, political consultant J. D. Angle, were on the Lawrence O'Donnell show yesterday.

If you haven't heard the part of Burns' speech that describes him popping the question it's included in this video. Nice.




If you haven't seen the entire 12 minutes of Joel's speech, watch this. Watching the full 12 minutes is much different than watching the 30 seconds or so that we've seen on the news. You can use a few minutes of your time to watch this. Heck, you're surfing the internet anyway. Slow down and watch.




I'm just wondering if we live in a community where elected officials would feel comfortable speaking out like this. Will the leaders in Bessemer, the new council and the new school board, step up to the plate and move this city forward, helping to make it into a city, and a school system, that values all of its citizens and students and provides a safe environment for learning?

Time will tell.