Western Tribune column, July 22 2009, Bingo!

It seems that some things are coming whether we like them or not. Some call it progress, some call it, well, other things.

Take bingo, for instance. Both Birmingham and Bessemer are on the path to allow electronic bingo in their cities (as if gambling is not already present).

Bessemer’s Mayor Ed May said, “I do believe that having such facilities will erode the morals of the people on the western side of Jefferson County…because they have to deal with this foolishness.”

Undoubtedly his views are based at least somewhat on his biblical interpretations and religious views.

And I think his denial of crime in our city is religion based also, or at least the solution is, as he once said we could just tell the bad folks about Jesus and the problem would be solved.

In Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford can’t wait to hear the bells ringing as he asked for larger bingo halls (rather than many small ones) and is hoping the city can sue itself to determine whether the machines are legal or not. Now that’s a novel idea.

But wait. Langford put his religious views on display when he appeared in sackcloth, ashes and Rolex to champion the plight of the poor. Or the watch-less, I can’t remember which.

And he used religion to deny Central Alabama Pride their rainbow flags before gay pride last year. When faced with a federal lawsuit over the matter he responded "If I had issued such a proclamation, I would in essence be saying that God's position is wrong and I wouldn't dare take a position against God. So as opposed to suing me, they need to be suing God, and the last time I checked, he can defend himself.”

“I wouldn’t dare take a position against God.” So which part of Jesus’ teachings does Langford take his position on gambling from?

Well, it doesn’t really matter. What’s going to happen is going to happen and the two mayors will just keep on entertaining us.

So I’ll just go collect my quarters and play some bingo while I wait for the bingo halls to open. Hey, something doesn’t sound right there. Oh well. In these two screwed up cities in this screwed up county, what does it matter?

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You will either love or hate this video by MIA. Bingo