Just turn off your imagination right now, though. It's not like that.
No, I wanted to write about the primaries last night, but then this information comes out about the local mayoral candidates and something very strange is going on.
In today's Birmingham News the finance reports of the candidates are disclosed.
The article explains that Ken Gulley outspent his rivals by a huge margin. That is no surprise.
But this is:
"Ed May did not file campaign finance disclosures for the two reporting periods
before the general election. Candidates do not have to file disclosure forms
unless they raise or spend $1,000 or more. Candidates who don't raise or spend
more than $1,000 can instead file a waiver indicating they did not need to file
disclosure forms. May also did not file any waiver."
My understanding is that as a candidate you must file either a form or a waiver. Ed May did neither. What does this tell us? What are the possible reasons?
1. He is hiding something. I can't believe the hundreds of signs he has put out cost less than $1000.
2. He does not respect the process. Somebody doesn't respect it, that's for sure. There's that silly lawsuit challenging Ken Gulley's residence, but I don't think it's tied to the May campaign. Seems there's another fish splashing water out of the bowl in this case.
3. He's lazy. He said after the poor showing in the general election that he had not campaigned. That could indicate laziness, or maybe his lack of campaigning reflects one of these other possibilities.
4. He's unorganized. Have you seen his desk?
5. He has such high regard for himself that he feels he does not have to follow the rules.
In any case, I don't think we want a person who falls under any of the above categories to be our mayor.
Ken Gulley raised over $21,000, and the contributors listed include business leaders, realty groups, law firms, investment firms, insurance firms and numerous individuals; people who love our city, understand our city, and want our city to prosper.
Who is left to contribute to May? No one. I guess maybe that's the reason he has no contributions. But he still needed to file a waiver.
Oh, you are wondering about the masturbation reference.
In Delaware the Republicans chose Teabagger party doll Christine O'Donnell as their candidate, a move that those who rely on statistics and advanced polling say will decrease the GOP's chance of taking the senate from 30% to 15%. It turns a sure Republican win in November in Delaware to a probable Democrat win.
O'Donnell is known for, among other things, speaking out against masturbation.
How can that be? I mean she is a teabagger, without question, and got the Teabagger party endorsement. And teabagging leads to...oh, never mind. But she said:
"The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust."
Hey, I don't make up the news, I only report it. And I'm not going to dwell on this. But do you really think that little kids, male and female, when they are exploring their body and just learning about things are full of lust? No, they are just doing what feels good with no emotional attachment at all.
And monkeys. They masturbate. Are they lusting after furry hunk they just saw swinging through the trees?
And does fantasy always equal lust? Hardly.
OK, enough of that.
I mean, it was bad enough that every candidate had to give an opinion on the proposed mosque in New York. Are we now going to examine every candidate's view on self-pleasure? Let's hope not.
But last night's primaries give new hope to the Democrats for November. Independents and moderate Republicans do not want to elect radical wing nuts to congress. So they will either stay at home or vote for the Democrats in November.
So, Twitter was set to launch a new interface last night, but my twitter page looks the same. But I like what's coming. Watch the video. Then follow me....